Anti-Piracy Video for Kids: Faux Paws the Techno Cat

What's a 21st Century kid to do? For too long (okay since mid-'05 or so), poor, innocent, unsuspecting (constantly sexting) kids have grown up into drunken, college students who post pictures of themselves doing keg stands when they're the underage, RA on-call, texting awkward late-night messages and inadvertently destroy whatever hopes they would have of being a productive, unemployed person living in their parents basement post-graduation. But what if only kids were taught about the "Three C’s of digital citizenship"?! They would stand a chance in the real world and not have their social akward moments ruin their reputations and haunt them for the rest of their lives.

What's that? You were not aware of the "Three C's" or that we are all "cyber-citizens" of "Internet City"?! You are part of the problem.

Luckily, iKeepSafe.org, a self described, "broad partnership of governors and/or first spouses [so one female governor and other governor's wives who aren't busy standing stoically beside their husbands at press conferences], attorneys general [sic], public health and educational professionals, law enforcement, and industry leaders [read: music & movie industry] working together for the health and safety of youth online [and to stop the hemorrhaging of cash]", is here to help!

The three C's are Cyber-safety, Cyber-security, and Cyber-ethics (Alternative prefixes deemed too dated for use: "E-", "VR", and "Techno").

One of the many cyber-riffic tools available to help your cyber-children understand just how cyber-scared they should be of a "series of tubes" and those who cyber-police it is, Faux Paws the Techno Cat! The cat and her kooky cartoon cyber-chums have not yet touched on proper etiquette for how to hold a rave or juggle glowsticks, but this most recent tale teaches students about, "the consequences of downloading music illegally". Kids are supposed to be shown by Faux Paw that illegal downloading is dangerous to yourself, your computer and your family.

You were expecting a long drawn out civil court drama weren't you? Here's what I learned from watching this informational video:

1) 0:48 - French cats are socially awkward and must be looked out for by a much cooler, talented USA cats.

2) 1:48 - Why couldn't Faux Paw just replenish his account balance? It's a penny.

3) 2:35 - Common Sense is your internet security. Seems Semantec & McAfee might disagree.

4) 2:48 - I have my own common sense humonculous in me? Sounds like a virus.

5) 2:50 - Peer to Peer = Dangerous.

6) 3:13 - Bulldogs and popup ads are pure evil. They just want to watch Internet City burn.

7) 4:04 - Cats don't have very high standards of music. They're all clamoring for the nondescript
jazz-stylings of Simon.

8) 4:25 - Viruses sound like Scooby-Doo monsters.

9) 4:49 - If you get a virus you will DESTROY THE ENTIRE INTERNET.

10) 5:02 - Firewalls destroy viruses?

11) 5:50 - Simon and Faux Paw live in the same house yet communicate via their computers. How else do you explain how Simon arrived so fast after FP was kicked offline?

12) 6:14 - When you steal a friends song, he doens't get paid.

13) 6:32 - When you apologize for stealing the song, you don't get forgiven, you just get acknowledgment of your admission of guilt.

14) 7:27 - Bella's a bitch.

15) 7:35 - Keeping you, your loved ones, and your free porn safe all hinges on your use of common sense.

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