Martin Lawrence Keeps Busy While Bad Boys III Contract Negotiated

Variety is reporting Martin Lawrence is going back to the fat-suit well to star in what, "... the filmmakers don't want...to be titled 'Big Momma's House 3'.

Variety says:

In the latest adventure, FBI agent Malcolm Turner and his 17-year-old nephew, Trent, go undercover at an all-girls performing arts school after Trent witnesses a murder. Posing as Big Momma and Charmaine, they must find the murderer before he finds them.

 The original movie grossed $117.6 million domestically and $56.4 million overseas, the second $70.2 million domestically and $68.1 million internationally. So we in the US can blame the rest of the world for the third installment (alt working title: Big Momma: Electric Squeakening).

If Hollywood is going to default to weak threequels and reboots, then I humbly request we forget about the fat suit movies and remake Def Jam's 1997 How To Be A Player. It's like a time capsule, portraying a time when beepers and carphones were the best personal tech, the internet was a weird, strange novelty not utilized by much anybody, and chauvinism was rampant. Just begging for an update.

The film follows revolves around Dray (Bill Bellamy), a young man living a player's dream and his friends as Dray makes his rounds. Dray's sister, Jenny (Natalie Desselle) and her friend Katrina (Mari Morrow) are studying Dray for a sociology paper and seek to expose him  by laying a trap at a party in Malibu. The film is presented almost as an episode of PBS Nature, as Dray drops pimp wisdom on his friends. Bernie Mac steals the show as an asthmatic cuckold named Buster.

Insights into the Game from Movie:

• Sisters girlfriend and married women are a players dream.(Assumably your sister's married girlfriends are some sort of holy grail.)
• Cardinal rule #1: Never, ever mess with a girl in your building, you'll live to regret it.
• Players never get busted.
• A women, who is a player herself, wants to be played, has to be played, needs to be played in order for the continuation of the man/woman thing. (Add a flamboyant gay character!)
• Light skinned brothers were in from 1986-89.
• Chess is like a game of strategy, before you get to the strategy you got to size up your competition.
• The woman should have a pager, not the player.
• Find the nerdiest girl in the room and treat her likes she's Hallie Barry & all the other girls will think they'll be treated the same way.
• A player will adapt to a hostile environment.
• You're probably wondering, 'what's with the ice?' If you don't know, you better ask somebody.
• A player never gets busted.

There's so much to reinterpret! How does the 21st century player roll? What changes have been made to The Cardinal Rules? Who could possibly replace Bernie Mac? or Gilbert Godfrey? Inquiring, sheltered, suburban kids with no understanding of machismo need to learn this stuff much more than they need to see Big Momma Goes to Magnet School.