There is a worldwide shortage of God's Love. There is a overwhelming tearing of the clothes, and gnashing of teeth in the streets. Luckily the Chairman of Interstate Batteries has created this commercial:
"Burdened with man’s inhumanity to man, Interstate Batteries Chairman Norm Miller created a commercial to promote God’s love."
This commercial is airing only on Dish Network, and I saw it on the FoxNews channel, which means: 1) When it really matters, Duracell is the devil. God prefers Interstate Batteries 2) Dish Network is receiving signal from the Satellite of Love. 3) FoxNews is God's chosen means of communication with his believers (you already knew that)
I didn't believe it the first time I saw it. The second time I was in a post lunch stupor but tried to pay attention.
Hey! Did you know that all you need to be happy is for God to hit you with His Care Bear stare!? We can be turned into a happy, loving, gooey eyed, shiny people!
Also acceptable for metaphor:
God's love hose showering down on us.
You know what else can accomplish the same task?
Plus I GET A COKE!
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