In case you were not aware, I'm currently preparing to fly off to Las Vegas to get my marriage on! I'll be trying to post updates from the planned honeymoon road trip which will take us from Vegas, to the Hoover Dam, to the Grand Canyon, and off to LA and the The Price is Right. Mostly updating on Twitter (xericwit), but I might drop a few lines telling you if taquitos in the southwest taste more authentic, or not. We might even stop by to visit the UC: Irvine campus for potential enrollment.
If you'd like to watch our wedding live (or after the Caesars Palace editing team has a chance to turn it into an advertisement) following these directions:
To access the weddings - CLICK HERE and follow the instructions below.
Here's the information you will need to view the broadcast: Wedding Name: BUCALO-MARSH Date: 04-02-2009 Time: 5:30 PM (PST) - (which is 8:30pm EST!)
It should be available to stream live during the event. If you miss it they will have it up within 48 hours afterwards for viewing for 5 days.
The Conspiracy Extrapolator pulls back the veil on conspiracies at all levels by taking keywords from top news sources'* headlines and running bleep-blop, flashy-light algorithms on them as a virgin is sacrificed to the alien overlords (who are not at all thwarted in their endeavors by your tin foil hat).
“Gung-ho” is a transliteration of the Chinese words Kung and Ho meaning Work and Together. The term was introduced as a training slogan in 1942 by US Marine officer Evans F. Carlson. It is the slogan of the Chinese Industrial Cooperative Association.
“The students will be brought back to the White House next month to help with the planting, and after that to help harvest and cook…”
Amee Ellsworth can turn on a faucet…flick a lighter and water flames shoot up from the sink.
Report:
Operation Fire Water has moved on to Phase II following successful testing in Colorado. Using the guise of a “kitchen garden”, the fountain on the south lawn is being retrofitted for further testing by the military in the secret, underground base beneath the White House. Expect to see further activity on the south lawn to cover up the testing.
Outwardly the White House is acting to ensure China sees us as an ally when World War III occurs, in much the same way as during World War II. We appear to be adopting their populist, agrarian methods and child labor practices as a show of goodwill and compliance to the fine print addendums found in the last round of loans.
The “garden” preparations also help to ensure future generations of Americans (or “Chinese Citizens”) will know how to raise an angry mob to defend their tiny villages against monsters.
*Including, but not limited to: The USAToday, NY Times, Chicago Tribune, LA Times, Reuters, High Times, The Hollywood Reporter, Christian Science Monitor, Google News, AP Strange News, and Beckett Price Guide.
My bride-to-be isn't always on top of the latest trends or cultural phenomenon. Just last week I explained Twitter to her (I just figured it out the week before). We live in the tax bracket most likely to get screwed by Octomoms, corporate bailout queens, House Financial Services Committees, and guys who pretend to be a former Foreigner drummer, so we aren't able to afford the latest fashion trends. But I no sooner had moved all of my stuff into her third story, vaulted ceiling haven than she put on the latest Flu season fashion.
If I didn't know better, I would believe it to be a calculated move to ensure I was committed to the "sickness" part of "sickness and health". While excited for the opportunity to take care of her, I was also not-so-silently proud of my immune system because I seemed to be avoiding the sickness as she slowly degraded into a pitifully cute, deep coughing, loogie spitting, high-fevered contagion. I walked through the fire and was not burned!
Then, while we slept, the virus moved in a style reminiscent of the Venom symbiote from her to me, bonding with me on a cellular basis. Even as I type, the fight for dominance continues in my body:
Today also marks 10 years, 11 months since I was diagnosed with Burkitt's Lymphoma (Sept is 11 years in remission). In celebration, I finally went for a sterility test (Science Fact: chemo can cause sterility). What I had been lead to believe by movies and television shows is that I would be provided a cup, a room, access to some sort of stimulant, and perhaps a hot nurse.
The reality of the situation ended up being very much in keeping with a sitcom episode. The lab company only has one accommodating office for this test despite many, much more convenient branches. The truth is this one office is just really close to the mother-lab as to ensure freshness.
After arriving and waiting about half-an-hour I was given the expected cup and escorted to a room. I use the term loosely, as it was more of a closet. There was a lonely four-legged chair to the left when you walked through the door. This was next to a sink with hand sanitizer and a small stack of paper towels. On the opposite wall was a small blood taking stool, the kind with the black leather cushion seat and arms. Next to the stool was a small bookshelf with toilet paper rolls. A picture of Mickey Mouse hung on the left of the door frame.
I was told to lock the door behind the nurse and bring out the filled cup in a nice bio-hazard bag when finished. That’s it. The first thought to pass through my mind was that every other guy who had to get this test done had sat in the chair and made his deposit. That was enough to pretty much kill my chances of success.
The sound of children screaming and multiple conversations and alarms going off in the other two rooms and at the front desk destroyed whatever illusion I was trying to create that I was alone. It was a lost cause.
After admitting to the lady at the desk that I could not perform such an act in such surroundings, she recommended I bring back my fiancée later in the day to try again. Nobody offered the other alternative (2:20).
