2009-05-08

Interstate Batteries God's Love Commerical

There is a worldwide shortage of God's Love. There is a overwhelming tearing of the clothes, and gnashing of teeth in the streets. Luckily the Chairman of Interstate Batteries has created this commercial:


"Burdened with man’s inhumanity to man, Interstate Batteries Chairman Norm Miller created a commercial to promote God’s love."

This commercial is airing only on Dish Network, and I saw it on the FoxNews channel, which means: 1) When it really matters, Duracell is the devil. God prefers Interstate Batteries 2) Dish Network is receiving signal from the Satellite of Love. 3) FoxNews is God's chosen means of communication with his believers (you already knew that)

I didn't believe it the first time I saw it. The second time I was in a post lunch stupor but tried to pay attention.

"...the main purpose of the commercial is to inform people and remind people that God’s love is available for us and he wants to help us live a life where we love one another."

Hey! Did you know that all you need to be happy is for God to hit you with His Care Bear stare!? We can be turned into a happy, loving, gooey eyed, shiny people!

Also acceptable for metaphor:
God's love hose showering down on us.


You know what else can accomplish the same task?




Plus I GET A COKE!

2009-05-02

Pepsi & Mtn. Dew Throwback: A Late Beverage Review

Gen1 iphone not so much with the quality pics; sorry.
PepsiCo recently put on shelves across the nation two new products: Pepsi Throwback & Mountain Dew Throwback - both made with sugar (cane & beet), not high fructose corn syrup. The web was all a-Twitter about it before the cans hit the shelves and two excellent reviews (Pepsi / Mtn Dew) from a new favorite blog have shown this to be an already well covered topic. While keeping this in mind, an afternoon of lo-tech beverage reviewing (with grilled Italian sausage+works) is a terrible thing to waste.

Accompanied by my dutiful co-hort, Mr. O'Flacker, we acquired a 2-liter of regular Pepsi and Mtn. Dew from the Wal-Mart near my day job. The Throwbacks 12-packs were found at Publix down the street from the domicile. We gave it the full-on summer experience by grilling out.

Full disclosure: 1. I don't drink a lot of soda. Only on weekends when I eat out. 2. When I go to restaurants and ask for Coke, I want Coke. Not Pepsi. Then Dr. Pepper, not Mr. Pibb. 3. Grew up an avid Mountain Dew drinker but, like Pepsi, had not touched it in years.

Logo ComparisonWe started out comparing the labeling, current versus retro. Pepsi's current logo was an attempt to adopt to the zeitgeist of a moment and I don't think it was necessary. I do like the font choice, not that you really need to have any words - everyone should recognize the Pepsi symbol, right? The same font is used for "throwback", but gets lost on the cans, particularly on the Mtn. Dew (the monochromatic doesn't help).

The epitome of "X-treme" and "Edgy"-fication of a logo, the current Mtn. Dew graphics seem downright Poochie and even more of a grab at GenKeyDemo when compared to its predecessor.
Mr. O'Flacker asked why pieces of kryptonite were floating in the background.

Then we got to the tab pulling. We followed what we imagined to be International Wine Tasting Laws (I'm sure they really exist) in an effort to remain pseudo-scientific about the endeavor.

Appearance
We lined up the glasses in a sunny spot on the counter and checked out the appearance. The Pepsi's were indistinguishable. Bubble's size was different in sugar vs HFCS and the Throwbacks appeared less bubbly after a few minutes. The regular Mtn. Dew was more opaque than the throwback version, possibly due to the OJ-concentrate, assorted acids, and preservatives not found in the throwback version.

Aroma
For me, any smell difference between the Pepsi's was indeterminable, but O'Flacker's schnozz could tell the difference blindfolded (we did this and the remaining stages blindfolded). Mountain Dew Throwback was obvious. The regular Dew was louder, but it was a din compared to the Throwback's brighter and more distinct smell. The citrus aspect was more noticeable in the Throwbacks , despite having no OJ-concentrate like the current model.

Taste
Tasting was up next (still blindfolded). I failed the Pepsi Throwback Challenge. I couldn't tell which was sugar and which HFCS. They both were too damn sweet. O'Flacker passed with flying colors. We asked his avid Pepsi fan roommate to give an opinion of the Throwback (sans blindfold) taste too. She did not like it at all, thought it tasted like Coke. She's wrong, but it was an interesting response.

O'Flacker failed the blind Mt. Dew challenge. He believed the regular Dew to be the sugar. I nailed it easily. If I ever drank sugar-Dew before no memory exist in my head of it. I tried the sugar stuff first and then the HFCS. I recognized the taste of the HFCS instantly and realized my childhood was a lie, having grown up on corn syrup when sugar was obviously my beverage soul mate. I'm a big fan of corn, don't get me wrong - cereal, chips, alternative fuel source - but I'm all about Big Sugar in my soda-pop.

In the end we figured both Throwbacks were smoother, more muted and yet more distinct than the regular.

The ingredients comparison reflects why the Mountain Dew was a much more obvious difference than the Pepsi. I find it interesting that HFCS types requires more preservatives than sugar versions. Ingredients in one version and not the other are in italics.

Ingredients List:


Mtn. Dew
CARBONATED WATER, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, CONCENTRATED ORANGE JUICE, CITRIC ACID, NATURAL FLAVORS, SODIUM BENZOATE (PRESERVES FRESHNESS), CAFFEINE, SODIUM CITRATE, ERYTHORBIC ACID (PRESERVES FRESHNESS), GUM ARABIC, CALCIUM DISODIUM EDTA (TO PROTECT FLAVOR), BROMINATED VEGETABLE OIL, YELLOW 5

Mountain Dew Throwback
CARBONATED WATER, SUGAR, CITRIC ACID, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, SODIUM BENZOATE (PRESERVES FRESHNESS), CAFFEINE, GUM ARABIC, BROMINATED VEGETABLE OIL, YELLOW 5

Pepsi
CARBONATED WATER, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, CARAMEL COLOR, PHOSPHORIC ACID, CAFFEINE, SODIUM BENZOATE (PRESERVES FRESHNESS), CITRIC ACID, NATURAL FLAVORS

Pepsi Throwback
CARBONATED WATER, SUGAR, CARAMEL COLOR, PHOSPHORIC ACID, CAFFEINE, NATURAL FLAVOR

Final Thoughts

  • When I started doing research on the Throwbacks I discovered that many other sugar-based versions of my favorite colas exist throughout the world. Most notably for me, Mexican Coke. I will be mounting a search party to try and find some.
  • I would have tried Pepsi Natural if the test market was anywhere in the "South".
  • You say "throwback" enough in connection with food and it comes close to "throwup". Old School, Retro, Back-in-the-Day etc lost out to this term in the focus groups.
  • It all went well with the Italian sausage sandwiches + works and the strawberry spinach salad with walnuts and gorgonzola cheese.
  • Burp Factor: Throwbacks seemed less burp inducing - but hard to say.

2009-04-27

CDC Swine Flu Update - Clinic Conference Call Live Blog

Today's Call

RT: @CDCemergency: CDC Swine Flu Update - Conference Call for Clinicians - 2-3PM Listen live: http://bit.ly/y9g7Z

TITLE: Swine Influenza Investigation Update
SPEAKER: Timothy Uyeki, MD MPH MPP
DATE: TODAY!!! Monday, April 27, 2009 TIME: 2:00 - 3:00 PM ET


Well, here we are again. Waiting for the CDC to broadcast its latest update titled "Conference Call for Clinicians" and listening to easy listening & classical muzak while we wait to see if we are all going to die for real this time, or go broke thinking we are going to get sick.

Take These Broken Wings now playing.

And....here...we...go!

2:09 - They've got more info posted about this event than a paranoid schizophrenic on Twitter.

We interrupt this update with MUZAK! The phone conference has been infected with the flu! God have mercy on us! We are all going to.... oh we're back.

2:12 - Human to human transmission only. No pig screwing going on at this time.

The Canadian Swine Flu is similar to US swine flu but thicker cut, cured and smoked.

Question Time!

Initial cases were found because (luckily) the sites were participating in monitoring protocols. Coming up "A+ non-subtype-able"

Clinicians will need to rely on Rapid test or immunoflorescents (sp?) to figure out if person has Flu. It will only come up A+ but they won't know if it's regular seasonal A flu or Swine A Flu.

2:22 - FDA plug - fda.gov/medwatch

Caroline's Question: Standard airborne contact protocol?

Human-to-Human transmission - assuming transmission like regular flu for right now.

Denise Curtis - Q: What is your probable case definition? Tamiflu for cases or contacts as well?

A: All confirmed cases get [prescribed] Tamiflu/Oseltamivir
THE US & CANADA CASES HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED SEVERE DISEASE! (Unlike Mexico).

Most US cases have retired without treatment (read: all those without Rx insurance copay toughed it out)

They don't want to freak everyone out, but they don't want to make everyone believe that we're all OK either!?

The science nerd talk is getting kind of thick.

2:38 - Airplane travel: Gateway to Physical and/or Portfolio Death?
A: No widespread disease and transmission through US. Nobody said nothing about stopping all air travel. Check CDC and/or WHO website for travel advisories.

I find these webcast interesting in that it gives insight into what goes on behind the scenes for when you go to the doctor. Who'd have thought swabbing technique could be such a big deal?

Check out photo on BBC site. This is how people will makeout in the 22nd century.

"Productive Sputem" is a good band name.

Transcripts available later @: emergency.cdc.gov/coca

Double check it for accuracy, don't want to add to the misinformation.
 
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.